The Personal Gift

Following on from yesterday, this subject deserves more consideration.

Why is a personal gift the best of all? Because

• it shows you that thought about their personality, their needs and their preferences
• it shows you know them - it might show that you know them really well
• it may reflect effort on your part - demonstrating that they are valued
• it's not just a gift, it captures the essence of something that is essentially them, or you, or both of you - perhaps even a shared joke

I have been lucky enough to receive several treasured gifts recently. My son decorated a box and presented it to me filled with 'love'. (No, you couldn't see it or feel it, but it was definitely in there.... Awwww bless!) I recall how determined he was to get his hands on a box at a time when I was busy with other things! We are extremely close, but (not wishing to gender-stereotype) I was touched that a boy would do this, that he wouldn't feel it was too sissy.

My sister gave me a CD she compiled of stories I used to listen as a child. They were by Johnny Morris and contained his characterful animal impressions in the context of life at a zoo. We could all recite our favourite bits... but the singles vanished and may still languish in some neglected and dusty corner of my Mum's loft. It took my sister a year to find them all on eBay and I received the disc in the post on my birthday. She stayed on the phone as I put it into my laptop and together we relived the hilarity. They are still as good as I remember. My son reckons that the stories are better than The Simpsons Movie. Quite an accolade! And my daughter wants them on her iPod. And me - well, I love the stories and she made me feel special.

My daughter got a great gift from a special friend of ours at Christmas - he had noticed that her dog did not have a bed downstairs. He not only found a bed for him (thoughtful and useful) but had it personalised with his name (showing effort) - Oscar the Westie now reclines in some style. I guess personalised gifts will, by their very nature, always be personal!

So, here's some guidelines for choosing more personal gifts. Think about the recipient, do they like...

• music - what kind? do they have a favourite artist?
• books - which author?
• magasines - which one?
• gardening?
• cars?
• sport - which?
• exercise/fitness?
• TV - which programmes? which TV personality?
• art and craft?
• fishing?
• perfume - what kind?
• make-up - what colours/brand?
• cookery?
• antiques?

Do they have...

• a favourite colour?
• a sense of humour?
• any disability?

Are they...

• left-handed?
• romantic
• practical?
• a traditionalist?
• green or eco-friendly?
• ethical, fair-trading, charitable?
• young? elderly?

I expect I'll go back and add to these lists as more ideas occur to me, but meanwhile, maybe I've given you something to mull over. In the days to come, I plan to add lots of suggestions to help you.

How to Choose Gifts Well

January 25th 2008


This is it. The beginning of my new blog on gifts and the art of choosing them. Finding the right thing for someone can be a tricky business, but some people are really good at it - my daughter for one.

What makes some people so good at it? Well, that's what I thought I'd write about first. Let's make one thing clear from the start: a good gift does not have to be expensive. But it does require a bit of thought. My ex used to go to Tesco on Christmas Eve for me - that's if he hadn't already suggested that I just buy something for himself. A little planning will go a long way!

Don't buy something inappropriate - for instance something too expensive (making the recipient feel uncomfortable), or some irrelevant clutter - the flotsam and jetsam we all have in our houses that we feel such guilt at disposing of because it was bought for us, and yet really don't need or want. (Year's ago, Not The Nine o' Clock News did a great sketch set in a souvenir shop featuring a rampant mackerel ashtray... maybe you get my drift?)

Steer away from the 'self-help' products too - that special belt to help you look 10lbs slimmer is not going to be well-received. (That is, not unless the recipient has expressed a burning desire to own one!)

Another no-go area is the gift you actually wanted yourself. My Dad enjoyed gadgets, and I recall the year my mother, with some dismay, received 3 or 4 different alarm clocks. Yes, really. He was actually pretty good at finding things she appreciated, but we can all get it wrong occasionally.


The best gifts are:

• personal - this has to be top of the list. It shows that you care about the person enough to have really thought about them. Or that you just happened to have them on your mind that day you were in a 2nd hand bookshop and spotted the book you knew they had enjoyed as a toddler before the pet dog ate it and left them in therapy. This could be a big subject to explore, so I think I'll come back to it later...

• original - no, don't worry. Gifts don't have to be imaginative every time (although, yes, that would be good!) but try not to resort to the same gift for every birthday. A little variety is called for - again, it shows someone that you care enough to have thought about it/them.

• useful - something practical. A tea-towel may not be the best gift in the world, but my son's school have one printed each year with the childrens' self portaits and these have proven to be a successful Christmas present from him to his grandparents.

• consumable - not just edible gifts but anything that gets used up. This is a different kind of useful. If you get me a vase, I won't need another - but I'll always need more flowers to put in it. I love bubble bath - not very imaginative, but trust me, it WILL get used. Think of chocolates (do they like milk, white or dark - are they diabetic?), perfume (do they prefer floral? musky? light? citrus?) underwear (can you get the size/colour/style right?), stationery (if this is something they are likely to use), wine. Flowers - another good standby for women (but please don't get me chrysanths - especially the sludgy autumnal ones or carnations! Tulips would be lovely though :o) It could be argued that socks are consumables - these are consumed by the sock gremlin somewhere between the washer and the dryer, but maybe this isn't so imaginative. What about golf balls? Surely a fair number of those must disappear too... and so the list goes on.

That's it for today. A good start I think - I hope you found it helpful.